Conversations: Different

Preface
This series of entries comes from various thoughts, struggles, and questions I’ve had on my walk with God. Most times, these entries have been a solemn monologue I’ve had in times of quiet or in places of weakness. Other times, these entries were God’s way of dialogue with me. As I brought my questions before Him, He showed me the truth that I was seeking. Of course, there were times when what I thought was true turned out to be vastly different from what He calls truth. With Him being Truth itself, I have chosen to put my untrue flesh to death in hopes that it will be revived in that real Truth. For the sake of making this more readable, I’ve decided to break one large entry into a series of smaller entries. Hopefully, these entries will bring to light the questions you have kept in the dark and open new avenues of conversation between you and The Father.

Different

It’s quite jarring, isn’t it? Thinking you know someone, only to later discover how completely wrong you were. That’s what it was like meeting You. (I mean really meeting You.)

For years, there was a version of You that I had fabricated in my imagination—a version that thought like I do. That should’ve been a red flag from the start, a sign that I was projecting my limited understanding onto a being who transcends human limitations. Imagining You within the confines of my mind made You smaller, reducing the vastness of Your essence to what I could comprehend.

But You are far greater than I could ever grasp. You exist beyond the boundaries of time and space, a mystery deliberately incomprehensible to mortal thought. I must have forgotten that Your ways are higher than my ways, and Your thoughts higher than my thoughts.

The Unraveling

Looking back, that old version of You feels almost unrecognizable now. As the fog of my misconceptions clears, You are revealing Yourself—Your true nature—a depth and complexity that is both humbling and terrifying.

I thought I knew where You stood on so many things, but my assumptions weren’t based on our interactions. They were based on my failure to truly see the interactions taking place. I thought I knew You, or at least I was confident in my assumptions.

Now I know (and am continually learning) that the You I envisioned looked far too much like me to be You. I had painted a picture in my mind, colored by my own experiences and biases, blinding me to the multifaceted truth of who You really are.

A Mirror, Not a Portrait

It’s fascinating how our perceptions can create such intricate illusions—how they make us believe we understand someone, when in reality, we’re only seeing a reflection of ourselves. While I don’t claim to be wise even now, I can see that the way I viewed You in the past was inadequate, even unacceptable.

Moving forward, with each new moment we share, I want to uncover more of who You are. Even if doing so challenges everything I thought I knew. Even if it forces me to confront the gap between my assumptions and Your reality.

A Placeholder for the Infinite

Even now, what I understand of You is only a placeholder—a flickering mirage in the landscape of my thoughts. It’s incomplete and imperfect, but it’s something I can cling to for comfort. A beacon of hope until that day when we meet face to face, and the illusion gives way to truth.

My heart races at the thought of discovering the full depths of who You are. How multifaceted, how rich Your essence must be in comparison to my limited understanding. I imagine the intricacies of Your personality: the laughter in Your voice, the warmth of Your presence—things I can only dream of experiencing firsthand.

Each moment spent pondering the possibilities draws me closer to You. Yet it also deepens the chasm of mystery, a gap only true communion can bridge.