Conversations: Good

Preface
This series of entries comes from various thoughts, struggles, and questions I’ve had on my walk with God. Most times, these entries have been a solemn monologue I’ve had in times of quiet or in places of weakness. Other times these entries were God’s way of dialogue with me. As I brought my questions before Him He showed me truth that I was seeking. Of course there were times that what I thought was true turned out to be vastly different from what He calls truth. With Him being Truth itself, I have chosen to put my untrue flesh to death in hope that it will be revived in that real Truth. For the sake of making this more readable I’ve decided to break one large entry into a series of smaller entries. Hopefully these entries will bring to light the questions you have kept in the dark and open new avenues of conversation between you and The Father.

Good

With this shift in perspective—this clearer view of Your truth—I find myself wrestling with words I thought I understood. Take the simple word good, for example.

I’ve always known You are good. In fact, You are the only One who is truly good; all else is but a pale imitation. But what exactly is goodness?

The more I know You, the more my understanding of goodness expands, transforming into something deeper and more alive. I used to think goodness meant being kind, showing compassion, feeling safe, or staying within the lines for the sake of comfort and peace. But as I walk with You, I realize that if You are good, and goodness is embodied in You, then my definition of good must change.

Beyond Comfort

You are good, but You are not always safe or comfortable. In fact, You often lead me into the unknown—into spaces where growth happens, where transformation takes root.

These uncharted places challenge me in ways I never anticipated. Your goodness teaches me to confront fears and limitations that have long held me captive. And while You are undeniably kind, Your kindness compels me to action. It doesn’t let me linger in complacency or mediocrity. True comfort, I’m learning, isn’t found in avoiding discomfort. It’s found in embracing the challenges that spark growth and resilience.

All of this is in pursuit of a goodness defined by You, not by me.

A Fierce and Transformative Goodness

Even in the moments when You flip the tables and crack the whips in the temple of my heart, You are good. Your relentless pursuit of my soul is an act of love, not anger. Your goodness lights the way to true freedom, guiding me through my doubts and fears. It encourages me to surrender, to embrace the changes You bring—even when they’re hard—because I know they will lead to freedom.

Your goodness is sweeter than anything I’ve ever known. It refines me, shapes my character, and empowers me to become who I was meant to be. It’s a love that costs You everything yet is freely given to me. It inspires me to share that love with others, building a community rooted in grace and hope.

Your goodness is both tough and tender, both challenging and comforting.

Redefining Good

What other words have I misused? What have I mistaken for good that You define differently? Open my eyes to what I’ve overlooked, to the truths You gave Your life for. Help me see You clearly.

When You tell me that “all things are working for the good because I love You,” You’re not promising ease or comfort. You’re asking me to lift my eyes to the good ahead, to bear the burden with faith.

I think of a garden. In Gethsemane, You knelt and prayed, “Not My will, but Yours,” as the weight of the cross pressed down on You like an olive in the press. Was that moment good? It seemed drenched in despair. Yet from that sacred moment of surrender came the fruits of salvation.

Would You call that moment good?

The Yoke of Goodness

You say Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light, but it is still a yoke. I’m beginning to understand that the yoke You place on me is as good as the One who crafted it. It’s made with love and purpose.

Even when that yoke feels like the press, crushing me, it enriches the oil within me, preparing me for greater things. And if I know You, it’s only after I’ve been crushed that I can truly begin to be made good.

A Journey Toward Goodness

This journey of bearing burdens is transforming me, teaching me to embrace the beauty that emerges from pain. Through the crushing comes restoration, and I am learning to rejoice in that promise.

I can’t say I fully understand what goodness means. But I know this: it is not what I once thought.

So, I will keep searching for You. I will let You crush me and remake me in Your image. In the mountains and the valleys, wherever I search for You, I find You.

For now, that is the only definition of goodness I need.